The most important aspect of any renovation may not be what you think.  It’s not the design, the quality of the construction, or the quality of the materials.  The most important aspect of any renovation is your relationship.  At the end of the day, when everything has been completed and you are standing in the midst of your creation, your relationship should be stronger, not weaker, than before you started.  Throughout the project, remind yourself that it could be a complete disaster, but if your relationship is intact you have been successful.

Here are three things we have learned about keeping our relationship first:

When your partner is done, you are done.
In most partnerships, one person will get tired before the other.  Unless you have a dire deadline to meet (it’s about to rain and you’re still fixing a hole in your roof), it’s in everyone’s best interest to stop working on the project when one person is tired.  Keeping exhaustion levels at bay will ultimately help the project in the long run and will show your partner that you care more about him/her than the project.  Because you DO care about your partner more, right?

Plan mini vacations
It’s important, especially in the midst of complete chaos (like, say, when you have a massive hole in your kitchen floor, no drywall on the studs, and furniture in storage) to take a few small mini vacations.  If your project is going to last more than a few weeks, plan a weekend away for time to reconnect and forget about the project for a few days.

Consider your partner’s perspective
You may be a brilliant award-winning designer, but if you are sharing your life – even temporarily – with someone else, you should consider the other person’s perspective.  Put the other person’s perspective before your own and consider a way to compromise if you are having a serious disagreement on anything – even minor matters.

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